Ladies, uncover your ears!
I know that I just broke “girl code” by mentioning the dirtiest of the dirty four letter words. Yes, even I feel ashamed for saying it in public! &, sure, it would be better if we put it off another week…
BUT, YOUR fat may be KILLING you…
Fat isn’t just unattractive. Its destructive. Destructive to not only your physical self but to your self esteem as well. Part of Do”ing” It Like A Woman is being the hottest, baddest bitch you can be–which is a “skinny” bitch.
Now, I know that I’ve just pissed off some or most of you. You ladies are comfortable with the way you look & don’t give a damn about what I or anyone else has to say about it. AND that is AWESOME, you are lightyears ahead of the rest of us women, you are an evolved species–as long as your BMI is also in check with your attitude.
This isn’t an appearance issue (though we’re always the hottest at our finest), it is a quality of life issue. Being overweight can impact a person’s entire quality of life. It goes way beyond health issues like diabetes, heart disease, & cancer–& into the daily aspects of our life. It can cause joint pain, difficulty breathing, disrupted sleep, mood swings, and that sluggish/tired feeling that you just cant kick even after your tenth cup of coffee or fourth 5 hour energy.
Not only that, but for those of you cancer diagnosees and survivors out there–my warriors–it can actually cause your cancer to reoccur. FAT feeds TUMORS.
Now, I wasn’t always a dietary example & I am still far from perfect. There was a time once where I thought wine and vodka was an appropriate diet aka the liquid diet. And, there was also a time in college where I lived solely off of Subway’s 5 dollar footlong meals. Even as recent as this past year, while living in Boston, the majority of my meals began to consist of laffy taffy candy & whatever I could get half off at the restaurant I was working at. It was a bar, you figure it out.
BUT, I have always been a health addict. Even if my own health habits were slacking, I was a silent support system to the women in the magazines that I was reading. I would think “YOU GO GIRL” as I took another bite out of the chocolate bar I was eating..seriously.
What finally changed? I got off my ass. And put all of what I’d been reading, to work…on my ass.
Its spring time & time to do some spring cleaning…internally.
So, what’s the best diet? A GREEN diet. I could lecture on it and sustainability, but that sounds about as appealing to me, as it does to you. I don’t even want to hear me talk on that…we’ve all heard it before: been there, done that.
Instead, I’m going to give you four simple ways that you can experiment with a GREEN diet straight from my bible, Kim Barnouin (one of the women behind the Skinny Bitch franchise)’s new cookbook: Skinny Bitch Ultimate Everyday Cookbook. The latest addition to my growing library of green diet books including Kim & Rory Freedman’s Skinny Bitch collection and Kimberly Snyder’s The Beauty Detox Solution. Check them out, these ladies know what they are talking about. Need proof? Look at them. They all look fabulous…bitches…
Here they are: The 4 Simple Steps to Experimenting with a GREEN diet:
Step 1: Get acquainted with your spices. Put that salt shaker down! The only thing you should be shaking like a salt shaker is a perfectly healthy toned ass. Learn how to cook and flavor your foods with herbs and spices instead of fattening oils, butters, & Paula Deen’s staple: lard. Herbs are your best friend. & I don’t mean the herb that was your best friend in high school. I mean your cilantro, oregano, basil, chive, rosemary, mint, parsley….get on a first name basis with them, learn their likes and dislikes, let them inside you…(too far?)
Start a new relationship with these guys. The added bonus? It is actually okay to date more than one of these guys at a time.
Step 2: Grow a mini garden in your backyard or buy a garden for your patio.
A not so "mini" garden..I come from a family of overachievers (if you can't tell...)
Now, my family went a “little” overboard with this suggestion and transformed a sizable piece of our backyard into the produce section of Whole Foods. The upside: we’ve got the freshest ingredients in our foods and we don’t have to feel like an asshole fighting with the plastic bag dispensers at the grocery store anymore. The downside? There really isn’t one. The goddamn thing even waters or “mists” on its own.
Look, the Earth even smiles when you eat green in the form of rainbows...now, if that isn't an argument for a greener life...I don't know what I can say, to convince you--you hard asses!
Step 3: Pencil in Meatless Monday or Meatless tuesday, as well….Meatless March & eventually Meatless everything! Now, here is where I put a little brown in my green life. I am FAR from a vegan. I enjoy my fish, my chicken, and my turkey. I also hold a deep belief that vegans don’t even like being vegan because every recipe I’ve ever gotten from a vegan cookbook has taken me approximately 3 hours to make at which point, I’m exhausted and don’t even want to eat the food. I think they just like being around the food and spending time with it…(I’m joking, some of my best friends are vegan…but really, what is with the recipes?!) Luckily, I’m defective. I gave up red meat A LONG TIME AGO which means that I can no longer eat red meat without feeling sick. BUT, I know my men certainly do enjoy their steaks, ribs, and burgers. So meatless isn’t for everybody. But, we should at least try and moderate how much of it we eat. & just because you go red meatless, it doesn’t mean that you lose your ability to cook up a mean steak for your men. Though, you can try to use it as an excuse to get out of making dinner--it almost worked for me.
Last night's dinner: Quinoa-Stuffed Poblano Peppers with Tomatillo Sauce...it was WORTH the time it took to cook...definitely. From the Skinny Bitch: Ultimate Everyday Cookbook by Kim Barnouin) Can you tell we are trying to get you "into" this? Look at that presentation!
Step 4: Go to the Farmer’s Market. & don’t just go there SHOP. I have one of the best times of my week at the farmer’s market (& no, its not because I live a really sad life & no, its not just because of my ongoing silent love affair with one of the vendors). Its because its actually fun!
You can get an ENTIRE pepper plant with 5 peppers on it for $5. Now, that is an investment! Just, please, don't try to be like my father & haggle $5 with the man. It's already a steal!
The produce is inexplicably large which means you can come up with some pretty funny material just based on the size of these eggplants...
The red tomatoes are a HEAVENLY red unlike the assortment of dingy reds & yellows you mostly find in the grocery store..
LYCHEES! Need I say more? If you are a S. FLA citizen pair with Schnebly Lychee wine, trust me. I know my fruit & I know my wine.
& bananas, oh my!
They EVEN make you drinks...like this passion fruit juice I enjoyed. A fruit & a juice which I fell in love with while volunteering in Haiti. Its especially wonderful paired with some rum...In this photo, the rum was excluded....i know, kill joy.
& LAST, but certainly NOT least...They make you sandwiches! I'm a fan of anywhere you can get a sandwich.
To find a farmer’s market near you, check out these GREAT resources:
So, Ladies & Gentlemen, if you take anything out of this blog post at all, LET IT BE THIS: MOST OF ALL, I want you to be the happiest, to be the healthiest, most booty-ful version of yourself that you can be. Turning a couple of heads, never hurt anyone’s self esteem. So, Do It Like A Woman or (Man) & BRING SEXY BACK.
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